Despite the obvious superiority of gritty reboots, many old shows and movies are still lying around uselessly in stupid non-darkness, waiting for Hollywood to sprinkle them with some harsh, family-killing reality. So we’ve created some guidelines for any Hollywood producers reading Cracked about how to reboot these classics at their most grittiest.
#5. Make Sure You Use A Washed-Out Palette
For example, Man of Steel showcased a Superman so conflicted he couldn’t even remember what colors Superman wears.
Reboot Suggestion: Mighty Morphin Power Rangers
We’re assuming the upcoming Power Rangers reboot has a new, gritty plot well in hand, and so all we’re going to suggest is that they make the palette as bleak and hopeless as the new world the Rangers will face.
I’d like to thank Bo Burnham for the best vine ever created
honor students cheat more than anybody
Racism is still alive.
Alright this don’t make no damn sense.
Imma just bring this back.
They hit EVERY SINGLE BEAT jeeeeeez
Someone please explain this
No one explain it
Took me a second
How Raleigh Becket Changed His Tune Once He Met Miss Mako Mori: A Short Story
"You don’t understand, I’m a complicated hero with angst and man pai- OMG SHE’S PERFECT EVERYONE GET IN THE JAEGER WE’RE GOING MONSTER HUNTING"
Oh god I never noticed how his shoulders drop in that last gif. It looks like he is literally sighing over how perfect she is.
He LITERALLY sighs at her when she walks by. NEVER have I seen a main character hero who is an extremely masculine male be SO ADORING of a woman. He has literal stars in his eyes. He’s tipsy on admiration. He looks at her like she brought Christmas and puppies and chocolate cake.
I STAN MANLY MEN WHO ARE RESPECTFUL AND EMOTIONALLY AVAILABLE AND TOTAL EQUALS WITH THEIR LADY FRIENDS
Raleigh treats Mako like the capable adult that she is but he just worships her. He treats her correctly but he walks on air behind her with hearts in his eyes. Dude is crushing hard and still gets what needs to be done done.
an au where Chuck is literally just a mirror Raleigh tries to fight sometimes
Behind the Scenes of “All About That Bass” +
How are skinny girls supposed to feel love when your song is about loving only fat bodies?
I’m sorry, but how are fat girls supposed to feel when every advertisement, be it on television or in a magazine, when nearly every movie, shows only thin women? I am completely against body shaming, but the fact remains that there is very little positive representation for bigger girls. Thin women are considered the norm and are far more accepted and you see them everywhere you look in the media. So please, don’t take this the wrong way, but please just let me have a song that makes me, for once, feel good about my body.
ive also noticed that people always focus on one particular line of this song which apparently makes it “skinny shaming”
but nobody ever acknowledges the following lines?
the main theme of the song is giving love to larger women because larger women are so commonly shamed for their bodies, ignored by the media and generally given less love and acceptance than thinner women, but the song in its entirety is a message that all women are beautiful. People are failing to acknowledge that
Fuckin preach man.
If a ‘skinny’ artist sang a song with the line “tell them fat bitches that” and followed it up with “no I’m just playing”, they would still get crucified for ‘fat shaming’. I understand that the media idolises a skinny image 99% of the time and I understand that larger people do not get as anywhere near as much positive media attention as they should. However, do not, for even one moment, think that it it okay to shame one body type just to make another feel better about themselves.
In this particular song it’s not just that one line that shames smaller figures. Did you pay attention to the rest of the lyrics?
"But I can shake it, shake it
Like I’m supposed to do
'Cause I got that boom boom that all the boys chase
And all the right junk in all the right places”
"Yeah, my mama she told me don’t worry about your size
She says, “Boys like a little more booty to hold tonight.”“
Implying that “skinny bitches” don’t have “all the right junk in the right places” or that their bodies don’t have what appeals to men is flat out degrading. It’s ‘real women have curves’ in a song, and it’s simply bullshit. Some women have curves, some don’t. Some are big and some are small, some are short and some are tall.
Do not fucking shame one type to please another.
I’m all for body positivity. Big, small, thick or thin, I don’t care. Be happy as you are. The message needs to spread around that any body type and any figure or shape is perfect, as long as it is healthy.
So, if you want to write a song about loving your body and telling others to love theirs, go right ahead. However, if there is a single line that puts one body type in a positive light and another in a negative light, it is no longer a body positive song. Do this and it’s a body shaming song, and don’t try and describe it as anything else.
^^^ preach this
YAS BITCH SLAYYYY